Same Place, Same Time

How proximity plays a pivotal part in friendship

How did you meet your childhood best friend? Were they your neighbour? Classmate? Teammate? If so, your friendship was likely caused by you two habitually meeting one another in the same place. As kids, it seems so easy to make a new friend. Much of the bonding occurs simply as a result of being present in the same space. In adulthood, it does not seem as easy. People get busy, move around, and it is suddenly much harder to form solid friendships. For many young adults, their friendships stem from ones formed in childhood, or ones formed from being placed in the same institution with another person for a lengthy period of time. In this post, I will explain the role of proximity in creating friendships, and how this can be applied to your adult life.

Proximity is a large part of the forming of friendships. Many of us become friends with others from being with them in the same place for a long period of time. Preciado et al. report homophily as a major factor in developing friendships. Homophily is people's desire to seek out those who are similar to themselves. Geographic location contributes this because it is a common factor that individuals can relate on. Also, when people share the same location, they are more likely to share similar cultural values and experiences. Close proximity is most important in the early years of life and is a key part in forming childhood and adolescent friendships. Maintaining friendships, however, is less affected by proximity as opposed to forming them.

"Geographic proximity is one of the essential causes of homophily because people that are spatially close are more likely to meet and interact, and because geographically bounded organizations, such as neighbourhoods or schools, congregate individuals who are similar in characteristics like religion, ethnicity, income, etc." (Preciado et al., 2011)

Forming friends, especially in childhood, can help prevent and combat loneliness. In a study by Zhang et al., students in grade three who had lower proximity prestige had higher levels of loneliness. Other factors to combat loneliness are friendship quality and social preference. This is because the way a person is treated has a direct effect on their self-esteem. Having direct and indirect friends "may act as a buffer against loneliness" (Zhang et al., 2014). Thus, it is important to learn how to form friendships because an individual’s social life can have an effect on their mental health.

So how to can I make friends?

Same place, same time. Research has shown that proximity is a major factor in the formation of friendships. When you see someone you want to be friends with, the best thing you can do is simply show up. This familiar face will make them more interested in your presence. This can be someone who is a regular at the coffee shop, or even someone who you see frequently in your lectures. The habitual nature will make it easier for you to bond using the concept of homophily.

References:

Preciado, P., Snijders, T. A. B., Burk, W. J., Stattin, H., & Kerr, M. (2011). Does proximity matter? Distance dependence of adolescent friendships. Social Networks. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.socnet.2011.01.002

Zhang, F., You, Z., Fan, C., & Gao, C. (10/01/2014). Friendship quality, social preference, proximity prestige, and self-perceived social competence: Interactive influences on children's loneliness Pergamon Press [etc. doi:10.1016/j.jsp.2014.06.001 https://www-sciencedirect-com.ezproxy.library.ubc.ca/science/article/pii/S0022440514000508

Photo: https://www.overturningtables.com/childhood-friendship/